Gah...it's been far too long since I've done any serious studying at all as far as Japanese goes (actually, any subject, to be honest). And somehow I've gotten so motivated lately! So I've decided to challenge myself and relearn kanji as fast as possible! As of now, I'm doing the 22 kanji a day thing or whatever, which is easy because I already know a bunch of the easy ones. However, once I get to the kanji that I don't know, doing 22 a day will probably be a bit...too much. So, I'm thinking I'll end up scaling back to 11 a day at that point.

I'm just really excited that I have this motivation. It's already lasted for almost a week, which, if you know me, is extremely unusual. I usually get a day of motivation, then, by the next day, I have no motivation at all. So, there's that. I'm hoping I can do this. I'm just really tired of not being able to read at the level I want. (I still have to review more grammar as well, but my grammar at this point is sufficient enough for daily conversation and the like, so I'll worry about grammar after kanji).

So I don't really do well with blogs. I never have anything interesting to say. I never seem to want to say anything either. I just...can't bring myself to keep up with one of these. I really want to, however. I'll try my best from now, though I really won't guarantee anything. Haha

So this year has flown by, and how things have changed yet remained the same.

Very soon I'll be graduating (this December), and then I hope that I can return to Japan for as long as possible. First I want to start off as an English teacher for a year or so, and then apply to graduate school from there. Honestly, I want to live in Tokyo. That's pretty much like...the one thing I want more than anything else. However, I know how hard it is to get into Tokyo because of how much of a hot spot it is. Meh...I have to try my best. Ah! And that reminds me, very soon I have to start applying for jobs in Tokyo. Gosh. It seems so surreal. I honestly can't believe it at times.

In other news, relationship-wise things are going well, but also strained at the same time. Going well as in, my new relationship feels so honest and real. The strained part lies in my ex. Letting go is extremely heart-breaking. Especially when you loved someone. It hurts a lot honestly. I made the mistake of letting them contact me as well. That just made it worse. And if I keep letting my ex text me, it's going to put a strain on my current relationship. Meh... I hate hurting people's feelings no matter how badly they betrayed me.

Meh...Now I'm just procrastinating. I have a final in my Accounting class tomorrow. If I don't get a 70 or higher, then I won't pass. This is the closest I've ever come to failing a class. Some advice: If you're taking summer classes, be sure that they're either an easy class or you're mentally prepared for the speed.

Song of the Day:
"Tsuyoku Nare" - Hitomi Takahashi

I love this song to death. It has a strange drum in it, but I just can't get enough of it. Seriously, this song is one of those songs that I'm always in the mood for.

信じてるから強く強くなれ

I've decided that instead of staying in the constant depression I've been in since I left Japan back in late July, I shall strive to do my best.

If I just mope about, doing my minimal in classes, I'll never make it. I need to do my best so that I can return to Japan. Japan is my ultimate goal, but I'll never make it there by just being depressed about my current predicament. Yes, it might take 2 more years to graduate from uni, but I know for a fact that it could be worse. I have to do my best. I have to be motivated. Otherwise, Japan is a dream that will never come true. I know this. Now I need to really work hard! I won't let this overwhelming depression keep hold of me any longer.

In other news, the new Legend of Zelda game came out this past Sunday. I must say I am in love. It's not my favorite yet (that honor belongs to the esteemed Majora's Mask), but it is getting definitely in my Top 5. I have yet to beat it, though, so it could make its way into the Top 3 very soon.

So I've returned back to America on Thursday. I'm not too sure how I feel about it, but I honestly wish to return to Japan as soon as possible. I feel a bit strange here now. I don't really feel like I fit in with America at the moment. I'm sure this is probably just a temporary feeling, though.

Today...today was the day of destiny for me! Today was the day I finally got to see my idol live! Finally! After all these years of practically worshipping her, I finally was able to see her perform. My seats were not as amazing as I had hoped they'd be (I was quite far from the stage...) But...I was in the middle and in the first row of the section, so I didn't have to worry about anyone blocking my view. That was great. :D

Now I must warn you...the rest of this post is going to be a review of EVERY song she sang, so, unless you actually care, then you should probably just stop reading now.

We first started off with a movie clip of puppet Namie and Dr. Chronus. It was quite funny...they started playing "Can't Touch This" with the Namie puppet dancing to the music. XD Eventually the scene ended and an extended intro of "FAST CAR" started to play~ I was super excited at this point! NAMIE!!! I was so happy~ She sang well...except that I'm pretty sure she lip-synched the chorus everytime it came up. Oh well, she was probably exhausted since this was one of her last of her 80 tour dates.

"ROCK STEADY" was nice~ Nothing really special about it. Namie's vocals were good, and the dancing was good as well.

"COPY THAT" was so much fun! I forgot how fun and crazy this song was! It was just fun and got the crowd pretty pumped up! I was happy to hear it, and happy that her vocals were good. I don't remember the dancing at all. >.<;

"Sexy Girl" was the exact same as her "BEST FICTION tour", except that I think her vocals were drowned out by the music. Oh! But the dancing during the bridge was 100% better! There was just something mystifying about it! I loved it!

"FUNKY TOWN" was next~ The vocals were great~ And the dancing was different than previous performances. (I liked it better). The crowd got pumped up during the "dancing all night~" part of the song. Very fun~

"CAN'T SLEEP, CAN'T EAT, I'M SICK" came in right after the end of "FUNKY TOWN". And I mean that the end of "FUNKY TOWN" segwayed into "CSCEIS". It was overall decent. Her vocals were okay...could've been better. Dancing was just okay too.

Then the second movie clip! It was cute and funny as the first one was~ Not much happened, but I think it was entertaining nonetheless.

"FIRST TIMER" was so much better than what I had expected. o.O I thought it was going to be aweful, but her vocals were great! I don't recall much of the dancing, though. The crowd was kinda just watching this song. You could tell they either A) didn't like the song or B) didn't know the song.

"WANT ME, WANT ME". OMG! My favorite song ever. They changed the music and made it SOUND BETTER. How could they do that?? I didn't even think that was possible! OMG! I want a CD version of it now! And the dancing was changed too! I like it better than the 2nd dance moves, but nothing can beat the original dance moves for the song. Her vocals were quite good, but could've been better~

"Bad Habit". One of my favorite songs off the album. It was a good performance overall. Good vocals. Good dancing. Nothing spectacular. But I love the song. :D

"WILD" had a different arrangement to it. It was...interesting. I liked how they changed the opening, but I didn't really like how they changed the bridge. The dancing was a bit different, and I liked the small changes. The crowd really liked this song, though I could tell they were a bit put off by the song's changes as I was.

"Dr." came in next, and it was another crowd pleaser. Everyone was pumping their fists to the chorus and to the "Please change the past~" parts. Vocals were fine, though the dancing was weak compared with that of "BEST FICTION tour". Oh well. Can't always win.

"Steal my Night" came next. It was obvious that the crowd wasn't really feeling this song too much. Namie did well with the dancing and singing though. And after the bridge when she yells out "Are you tasty for me?", the crowd got really excited and cheered loudly for her.

Another movie~ It had puppet Namie going through the PV of "Baby Don't Cry". I thought it was nice, a bit boring, but nice.

"The Meaning Of Us" started to play, and it was wonderful! Namie was on-spot the entire time, except when she couldn't hit a high note in two places. But, other than that, she performed the song amazingly. I was greatly impressed. Loved this performance.

The fan-favorite "Baby Don't Cry" was next. So fun~ Vocals were nice, and the crowd loved the song. I loved it as well. Especially singing "Sou dakara baby kanashimanai de". :D

Movie again. It was cute. Had puppet Namie thinking about various things real Namie has been in. Like commercials and her music videos.

"Do Me More" came next! It was fun! The crowd loved it and the arrangement was a tad bit different. My only problem was that the music completely drowned out her voice during some parts of the chorus. It was good though. I think the dancing was changed? Maybe?

"BLACK DIAMOND" played...and I was a bit underwhelmed by the performance. I could hardly hear her vocals, and what I did hear wasn't as good as what was on "BEST FICTION tour". Dancing was good though. Same as before, but it's good.

"LOVE GAME" had Namie and one of her male dancers having a dance battle. Dancing was good, very good. But obviously she had a hard time doing the amazing dancing and singing at the same time. I can't blame her though. The song is freaking hard to sing when you're not dancing. She did well. But you could tell she was tired as fuck.

"ROCK U"! WOW! So much energy! The crowd loved it! I loved it! It was better than the CD version! The dancing was awesome! Awesome, awesome performance! Everyone was pumped up for it!

"Break It" was actually better than I expected. And fun too~ The crowd loved it as well, and well all pumped our fists to it. Namie didn't dance much at all, but her vocals were great.

"WHAT A FEELING" was the same as her previous tour. It was nice, and another crowd favorite. Well all jumped and clapped our hands to it. XD Good vocals and good dancing.

Wow. "Shut Up" was liked by the crowd more than I thought it would be. No dancing until the bridge, and I can't recall how I thought about it. It was good vocally though. Very good.

"Defend Love" was really, really good. Great vocals. Great dancing. Great lights everywhere. It's a shame that the Japanese don't like it as much as the other songs. It's such a good song. Oh well. I enjoyed it.

Encore next~ "COPY THAT" again, though she went straight to the second verse. The band and dancers were introduced. Everyone loved the drummer. Actually, besides the drummer, Namie completely changed her band members. I was surprised. The song was loved by all again. We got streamers blasted at us. Fun fun.

"Get Myself Back" was pretty~ Her vocals were great, and the crowd liked the song a lot. I can't say much else about the the performance. The music video played on the giant screen behind her...

Last song (sadly) was "MY LOVE". It was a great performance! Everyone was excited and pumped up! At one point 4 giant balls started to be passed around. They eventually popped and balloons went everywhere! Yay! The performance was great!

And so the concert ended! The only thing Namie said was "Thank you for today" and "See you next time". Other than that, she didn't do any MCs. But the concert was great! I loved it! Too bad it felt like it went by way too quickly! I felt as if it only lasted 10 minutes! I suppose that's when you know you had a great time. And...I'm so glad that this was my first concert ever. It was worth it in every way! I want to go see her live again soon!!!!

:D

This weekend was a home stay! Wow! It was so much fun! :D I learned so much...did so much. It's an experience I wouldn't trade for the world.

So Friday started off with me being nervous beyond belief. I mean, after all, I was going to be living in someone else's house. I didn't want to do anything stupid. I didn't want to come off as a stupid, ignorant American. All these thoughts flooded my mind, though I think I managed to keep calm better than I had anticipated. Anyway, upon meeting up with my host grandfather, I immediately went into my shy shell. I hardly said anything, and when I did say something, it was very short.

When we arrived at their house...OMG. They're house was a Buddhist temple! How crazy??? I didn't learn until the next day that my host grandfather is the priest of the temple. So...amazing. And the rest of their house was huge. So I met the rest of their family at this point. I had a host grandmother, mother, father, brother, and sister. Ack! I was so nervous at this point. I don't think I said much at all. I was just unable to formulate sentences in Japanese well. It was embarrassing. But, OMG, they're daughter was so cute! She was just energetic and fun. She seemed to have taken a liking to me right away. I'm not good with kids, though...so...

And the room they gave me was so awesome! It was like a freaking hotel room. Like seriously, everything about it was great. It was Western style, though, which took me by surprise. I was expecting only Japanese. But...it was a great bed to sleep in. So comfortable. I slept well that night. Very well.

I miss Pterra.





;(

I don't know what's up with the title.

So I am soooooooooooooo tired today. And the last week has been mentally exhausting! Japanese is so difficult at times! Sometimes I just want to bang my head against the desk. It's just way too much at times. At least the others think the same. I'm not the only one in class who is having a difficult time, and that makes me feel better. I just thought I was a complete idiot. Hahaha.

We had a party for a birthday on Saturday! It was super fun! We did lots and lots of fun stuff. And almost everyone got drunk. I didn't though. I promise. My stomach hurt whenever I drank any alcohol, so I just stayed away from it. Still! I had a good time! :) Lots of good memories. "Atashi wa daisuki~~~ Oneechan~~~~!!!" Hahahaha...inside joke. :)

Recently I've been asking myself, "Am I even getting better at all in Japanese?" To be honest, I'm not so sure. It doesn't seem like it at all...but I wonder how I was just a month ago? If I could somehow compare then to now, I'm sure there'd be improvement. I mean, already I know more words. And I'm getting a little more confident in my ability to speak. Just a little, but that's better than nothing. Every little bit counts, right? I hope that when I come back for two months starting in the beginning of February that I'll be able to speak much better than before! Perhaps I will go to MTSU and talk to some of the Japanese exchange students?

Mmm...this week has been good so far. The last part of last week was...not good for me at all. I was pretty depressed. Frustrated at every little thing. I can remember one day when I thought that it'd just be good to give up. At that time, I didn't want to hear any Japanese. I didn't want to see any Japanese. I just wanted English. I eventually got over it though. :)

Now I'm just chilling... Hahaha. I need to study. I have a test tomorrow. I have two quizes on Friday. Blah. I hate studying. I hate having to work for my grade. Someone give me all the answers. :D

So it's been quite a while since I last posted anything on this blog. A week to be exact. I've just been so busy that I've kinda forgotten about it. Going to school...hanging out with friends, by the time I get home, I'm just so tired that I don't bother with typing in a blog. Hah. At least I am today, right? I was aiming at posting everyday at first, but that doesn't seem to be likely anymore. I mean, c'mon, after a while, it'll just be the same blogs over and over again. Something along the lines of "I went to school, did this, did that, blah." But who knows? Maybe I will try to post every other day. I dunno.

This past week has been one interesting week, I guess... It was my first week of school, which wasn't bad until Wednesday. Wednesday was when the Japanese classes started. And...OMG...so freaking hard! Somehow I managed to get in the HARDEST of the Japanese classes. So, I am just overwhelmed. The teachers ONLY speak in Japanese. No English. I think that I can understand about 1/4 of what's being said. Ack... At least everyone else in the class seems to be in the same boat as me. I just know that I'm going to need to do A LOT of studying for these classes. More than I thought I would. This isn't going to be an easy 'A'. And I need an 'A'.

Aside from school, the past week has been good enough. Lots of friends to hang out with. Lots of things to do. It's been a good experience. And the weather finally got cooler. Now I can actually enjoy going outside instead of being miserable inside as I have been. Yay for that. It's kinda exhausting too, to be honest. I'm so used to being lazy...but it seems as if I haven't had many lazy days lately. Well...maybe I have? I dunno. I already want another break. Hah!

Opps. Forgot to update this when I should've. Oh well, I don't care. :D

On Wednesday, I went out with friends! We had lots of fun and drank sake and ate lots of good food. Don't worry, I didn't get drunk. I did get tipsy for about 30 minutes, but then I ate food so it made my buzz go away. We had lots of good fun...it was just...amazing. I loved it so much. Made me happy to be here. :D

Today was study day! In preparation for the test tomorrow, I did last minute studying! Hahaha...as usual... I cramed a bunch of information that I haven't even learned in about 30 minutes. It was...a bit difficult? No...that's not the word to use. Overwhelming. So much to do, and so little time. I guess that's when procrastination is not your friend. Oh well, I suppose I will learn one day. Probably not any time soon, but we'll see, we'll see. :)